I'm losing my mind.

This morning I spent time on my hair. It was a good hair day. Then I realized it was snowing/raining outside. What a waste of time, especially since I have to trudge around campus in the rain and snow and wind.

I decided I would wear boots, so I planned an outfit around my gray boots and got dressed. Then I found out at the last minute that my gray boots must have walked out the door on Abby or Katie’s feet because I couldn’t find them anywhere. I wanted to scream. So I had to change my outfit.

I still had to run to Walmart for donuts and jelly beans for Tyler’s class party so now I was running behind schedule. And I needed to eat before I went to school or else I wouldn’t be able to eat until after 3:30.

I was in and out of Walmart in a hurry but then I took the groceries out to the car and realized I had forgotten to pay for a package of knives. I screamed and ran back in, all the while fighting with a stupid umbrella to try to save my good hair. I paid for the knives in a self-checkout that only took debit cards. So I decided to get cash back with my dollar purchase. I was really getting stressed now.

I struggled with the machine for a minute, of course, grabbed my cash back, and ran out. I stopped at Mcdonalds inside Walmart for a fruit and yogurt parfait because I felt another scream coming on.

Fighting with the umbrella again I ran to the car and hurried home. I started throwing 16 jelly beans into each Ziploc bag for the bingo markers for the party. Then I realized I was out of jelly beans and need two more bags! Another scream.

Then I thought, “Where did I put those knives?” “I could really use one to slit my wrist right now.” And that’s when I realized I had left the knives that I went back in to pay for, in the bag at the self-checkout! Of course I screamed.

I inhaled a few of the deformed jelly beans that I didn’t want to use to keep me from a complete meltdown and then ran upstairs to get my rings that I had left in the ring cleaner. As I grabbed the rings the whole thing of ring cleaner spilled out. “Seriously?” I thought. I convinced myself not to crawl back into bed right then, ran downstairs, grabbed a Diet Coke and went to school, afraid of what the rest of the day would bring.

Bacon and Tomato Sandwich

(I'm posting this a few months late. I just haven't had time to write it down.)

I was driving down I-15 home from school one day when I realized it was September and I had not eaten a bacon and tomato sandwich yet. Summer was over, gone. What had I done?! How did I let that happen?!

I had grown up eating bacon and tomato sandwiches my whole life. My dad’s garden was always overflowing with fresh, ripe tomatoes and the refrigerator was never short on bacon. Was I so busy during the summer that I never thought about enjoying warm tomatoes off the vine with crispy bacon on toasted bread smeared with Miracle Whip? My mouth is watering just thinking about it. But, yes, I was too busy, among other things.

I was taking four classes and juggling four kids and a dozen or so neighbor kids on a daily basis. But that couldn’t be the only reason. Another reason was that my own tomatoes had disappointed me. They never produced, anything, ever. I don’t know what went wrong with my own tomatoes but that was no excuse. My dad lives a mile away and had a garden full at all times. I often brought some home to my house. There had to be another reason for the lapse in memory. Then I realized I never bought bacon. Bacon is not something we eat on a regular basis. It’s a special occasion treat for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or Christmas morning. But a bacon and tomato sandwich in the summertime is a special occasion! What was I thinking? Or not thinking?

To let the summer come and go without eating at least a dozen was a tragedy, but I hadn’t even had one! I was determined to go home and have a B&T sandwich for lunch even though it was September. But by the time I arrived home my thoughts had moved on to other issues. Not more important ones I’m sure. And I didn’t have any bacon or tomatoes either, so that made it difficult. I had to give up the dream of eating a deliciously fresh bacon and tomato sandwich until next summer. But I vow not to let this happen again.

Special K

Sometimes it’s the little things in life that really make a difference. Like today when I opened a new box of Special K Almond. It’s my favorite. I eat it every morning and sometimes again at night. But today when I opened it I got a special surprise. No, it didn’t have a toy, or a coupon. It had extra almonds! Usually when I open a new box I have to dig for almonds that have settled at the bottom. But today they just poured out right from the top. I could see them everywhere. It made me feel really lucky, like I got the special box or maybe it was the batch they messed up on but still, I got it.

Another little thing that makes a big difference is the little bit of caramel and whip cream I added to my cookie dough ice cream last night. I don’t do that every night, but when I do it makes me happy. And I can’t forget the first gulp of an ice cold, almost frosty Diet Coke. That brings me joy too. Yes, I realize I find too much happiness in food but that’s why I keep running. Life is short. Find happiness in the little things.

Computer Wiz

I’m finally starting to feel like my computer skills are improving! I’m certainly no Bill Gates, and Katie still knows more than I do, but I’m learning and I’m feeling proud. I’ve been figuring out how to save things in different ways and in different places and how to retrieve those things. After a couple of failed attempts and a scolding from my computer, I even learned how to “safely” remove the flash drive. Yesterday I had to do a layout for the front page of a newspaper, on a Mac. It took me two hours but I finished it. Well, I helped with it. One of the school newspaper designers had to step in and help before I burst into tears, but still, I saved her work and sent the assignment in. I get some of the credit. Now hopefully I’ll be able to post this blog without cussing or my ego will be crushed.

...Twenty minutes later... I finally got this stupid thing posted. Now I'm totally frustrated. That's what I get for being proud. Who knew you had to use control "V" to paste?! That makes so much sense, doesn't it? Live and learn and try not to lose your mind.

New computer skills

I’m finally starting to feel like my computer skills are improving! I’m certainly no Bill Gates, and Katie still knows more than I do, but I’m learning and I’m feeling proud. I’ve been figuring out how to save things in different ways and in different places and how to retrieve those things. After a couple of failed attempts and a scolding from my computer, I even learned how to “safely” remove the flash drive. Yesterday I had to do a layout for the front page of a newspaper, on a Mac. It took me two hours but I finished it. One of the school newspaper designers had to step in and help before I burst into tears, but still, I saved her work and sent the assignment in. I get some of the credit. Now hopefully I’ll be able to post this blog without cussing or my ego will be crushed.

p.s. I’m now realizing, more than a year later,that I never did post this blog because I did have trouble when I tried to do it. How ironic!

Boob on the loose!

I consider myself a pro-breast feeder. Not that I'm a pro at it, but I'm in favor of it, not against it. Well, now that I don't have to worry about doing it anymore I'm for it. It never was my favorite pastime but I did it long enough to say I did it. That being said, I'm not now, nor was I ever, someone who liked to see people breast feed in public. I couldn't do it in public. It's a very private act in my book. Maybe because it was also a two-handed job when I did it, unlike the girl at UVU today who was breastfeeding as she walked down the hall not using any hands at all! I was walking toward her as I realized I was seeing her entire left breast, except for the nipple which was being used at the moment by her baby who was hanging in one of those front carriers. I'm not exaggerating any of this. There was no blanket in sight. She was very comfortable with the whole situation as was her husband, I assume, who was walking next to her. The rest of the student body, however, is still in shock tonight and wondering if we're living in South America. I'll be looking for an article in the school newspaper soon. I'll probably write it myself.

All this trouble over a slice of ham!

I was late for school today. Actually I never made it to my first class because I got to the parking lot at 9 am and drove around and around trying to get a spot for 25 minutes. I finally left and went to visit Charles at work. Anyway, that's not what this blog is about. Although I could write a seperate blog about the parking situation at UVU, I don't want to waste any more time on it. I got to the parking lot late because of the ham slice on the lunch menu at Lehi Elementary.

I told Tyler he could eat in the lunchroom at school today becauseI didn't have time to make him a lunch and because they were having french toast and a strawberry cup. French toast is great, I thought. He likes french toast! It would be a great change from the slice of bologna that he takes every other day. However, along with the french toast comes a slice of ham and a hasbrown pattie. This is where the trouble began. Most of us would love to get a slice of ham and hashbrowns with our french toast. But not Tyler. The addition of these two items caused him to go into melt-down mode before he left for school because he knew he wouldn't eat them and that the lunch room aide would make him eat it before he left for recess. Jacob and Abby told me the hashbrown was optional. You don't have to take it. But the ham slice comes on your tray. I really wanted him to eat the school lunch so I told him I would write a note to the teacher asking her to not make him eat the ham slice.

The note said, "Mrs. Ash, Tyler needs to eat in the lunchroom today but he is stressed out about eating the ham slice. He won't eat ham. I'm not sure what to do about the situation but could you help me? Forcing him to eat the ham will cause a melt-down. Thanks, Paula." I put the note in his folder and ran out the door hoping I didn't get a call from the school at lunch time telling me Tyler was in lock-up or melt-down mode for not eating his ham slice. Most mothers probably didn't have to worry that much this morning about a slice of ham and I'm sure no other UVU student had to worry about it. I came home from school to see the following e-mail from Mrs. Ash:

"I talked briefly to Tyler about lunch today....I think he wil be ok. I told him its ok if he does not eat his ham and that I will tell Mrs. Hobbs that its ok if he does not eat all his lunch. He is doing really well in class. He seems to enjoy it and participates very well. Hope he has good reports about school. He is a great boy and a good student. I enjoy him. Have a great day and hopefully I will see you tonight at Back-to-school.... Mrs. Ash"

I just found out from Tyler that the strawberries only came with the grilled cheese selection! So I paid $1.50 for one slice of french toast! That's all he got. He didn't bother to get any fruit from the serve-yourself options. I could have avoided all the trouble and been on time for my class if I would have just thrown a slice of bologna in a sack this morning and called it good.